Parenthood changes the meaning of planning. Before children, a will can feel like a task for another day. After children, even ordinary decisions take on a new sense of purpose. Who would know their routines? Who would keep them close to the people they love? Who would make sure the practical foundations of their life were steady if you could not be there?
No document can replace a parent’s presence. But a thoughtfully prepared will can help you make clear choices about the future you hope your children will never need to navigate without you.
Choosing people, not just names
For many parents, appointing a guardian is the most emotional part of making a will. The question is not who is “perfect”; it is who understands your child, shares the values that matter to you, and is willing and able to take on a serious responsibility if the need arose.
Start with gentle, honest conversations. The person you have in mind may feel honoured, but they also need space to consider the role. You may wish to talk about practical matters such as where the child might live, existing relationships with siblings and grandparents, schooling, culture, faith and the support they would need. It can be wise to consider an alternative as well, in case circumstances change.
A will can be a place to set out who you would want to look after children under 18. Citizens Advice lists this among the key matters to consider when preparing a will. The legal position can be more complex where parental responsibility is shared, family arrangements are unusual, or there is a disagreement, so individual advice is particularly valuable for blended families, separated parents and anyone with a child who has additional needs.
Financial security is part of the picture
Parents often think of guardianship and money separately. In reality, the two are connected. The person caring for a child may need access to funds for everyday life, education, activities and a secure home. A will can explain who should inherit and may form part of wider planning for how assets should be managed for children.
There is no one arrangement that suits every family. Some parents prefer straightforward gifts; others need to consider trusts or more detailed instructions. Where children are under 18, there can be additional practical issues around how an inheritance is held and managed. Citizens Advice notes that where beneficiaries are under 18 or a trust is involved, at least two executors are needed. Read more about choosing executors.
This is a good example of why professional advice can bring peace of mind. A solicitor or appropriately qualified adviser can help you understand options in light of your family, your assets and your wishes. If the estate may be subject to Inheritance Tax, the wider tax position should also be reviewed carefully. HMRC’s Inheritance Tax guidance explains the current thresholds and rules, but personalised planning should always be based on professional advice.
Keep the plan alive
Children grow, guardians’ circumstances change and family life rarely stands still. A will should not be treated as a document that is finished forever. Review it after a birth or adoption, a marriage or civil partnership, a separation, a move, a major change in finances or a significant shift in a chosen guardian’s circumstances.
Just as importantly, keep the original will somewhere secure and make sure the people who may need it know where to find it. For a probate application, the original will is generally required; GOV.UK explains that a photocopy cannot simply be used in its place.
A gentle next step: Write down the names of two people you would trust to care for your children. Ask yourself what you would want them to know about your children’s routines, relationships and hopes. That note can become the beginning of a more formal conversation and a properly prepared will.
Planning for children is not a prediction of loss. It is a declaration of care. By making time for the question now, young parents can create a clearer, kinder path for the people they love most.
Alongside the formal will, some parents choose to keep a private letter of wishes. It can describe the small things that make their child feel known — friendships, routines, favourite activities and family connections. It is not a substitute for a will or professional advice, but it can be a loving companion document for the people you trust. Return to it occasionally, because the details that make up childhood change quickly and the letter is most useful when it feels alive and familiar.
Sources: Citizens Advice — Making a will · GOV.UK — Applying for probate if there is a will · GOV.UK — Inheritance Tax